Lots of Monkeys

Yesterday I noticed a bike light I use when riding my scooter was broken. I was a little bit concerned, this was the first time I’d noticed the defect, a very clear crack that split the plastic right where the USB plug was. It was sticking out so badly that I might have broken something plugging it in, just glad I caught it. I know that’s a lot of anxiety over what is basically a repairable item, but I am risk-averse.

I found the manufacturer’s customer service form on their webpage. I then filled out the information, including the monopolistic online store of the oligarch I’m currently not trying to support.

I completed it and started my commute.

By commute I mean hitting shift windows and the left arrow key to switch my desktop from Desktop 3 to Desktop 1. My commute using this method is approximately three seconds, which by the way, is incredibly bad.

Do not do this.

I had a full day at work, figured out dinner, went to bed, woke up the next day and saw that I had received a response to my warranty inquiry. My documentation was accepted and they will replace the light, noting that the package would take about three to four weeks because it was coming from Australia, I learned.

As I was responding, I noticed a land acknowledgement in their signature.

Sent from Wurundjeri Country. I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land on which I work, and pay my respects to their Elders, past, present and future.

Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung Cultural Heritage Aboriginal Corporation

And while I know that a land acknowledgement is not going to solve the problems that indigenous people have faced for centuries, I have family that I know would appreciate the educational effort coming from a company. On the whole, I would rather give my money to a company that is at least trying in its own way to educate others and have respect for all human beings.

I snoozed the email for four weeks and signed off.

“May we all get treated like human beings, equally, some day, every one of us.”

//In retrospect I reread this and then realized I own enough tools at home to have glued it shut and filed and sanded it to a usable condition, but then I would have never seen the land acknowledgement.

Honestly that’s what it feels like as of late. The last eight days or so have been pretty hectic. I won’t say bad, they weren’t terrible. Or maybe they were.

I am improving, but slowly. It is definitely a longer recovery. Compared to the stomach flu I endured a few months ago, where I started to feel fine a couple of days after the initial symptoms stopped, this is more of an annoying clinging, cloying experience. Like a goop that is just sticking to your hand and you can not shake it off.

There’s no fever anymore, just a half congested nasal passage, and a cough that cannot decide if it wants to be here with me in the moment or stand just outside of my peripheral vision.

And then there is the fatigue, which I think is getting better but I don’t know anymore what normal feels like. It’s been so long.

It is, for me, the definition of a, “meh” (with an upward intonation at the end) state, where there’s some bad stuff happening, some good stuff is happening, but overall things aren’t improving as much as I would like, but on the other hand they are not getting worse.

// Achievement Unlocked: Official Plague 2020 Participant

The code font that is used by the code block is nostalgic for me. It is the font of the Apple ][e, the later, the no name brand computer that ran MS-DOC on the IBM PC platform.

The font brings me back to nights and days of spinning magnetized plastic platters. In return for learning how to perform the right rituals, video games spat out. And why not go all in to this hobby? Outside?

Outside was why there were bars on the windows, and why my life was Home and School and the Car Rides In Between.

These fonts were the keys to stories of space pilots stopping intergalactic wars, of smuggling contraband in your customized shuttle, of kleptomaniacs somehow picking up everything and becoming heroes, of secret agents overcoming supervillains, of a band of travelers hired to kill a mad god. From here my love of books dovetailed with this new hobby and I never went Outside until I had to.

// That ][e was the last apple product my family could afford. Period. Man my parents nailed it about computers being the future.

//  March 31st, 2020 Y'all.  And I haven't even reached Peak 2020 yet.  In fact, part of me is still not sure if Peak 2020 is yet to come.  Hey, it's me from two years later and I realize, it's not devices that help me cope—it's software.

Devices are helping me cope.

There’s a Nintendo Switch with therapy a copy of Animal Crossing New Horizons.

I am lying in bed, reviewing the online orders for the grocery. My finger hovers over a plus sign.

I wonder, out loud, but more to myself, “Hmmm. What about this fancy mixed berry yogurt?”

My partner is in the midst of a solitaire game on her tablet. Not looking up from her tablet, she responds.

“Girl, you are worth it.”

I blink a few times and a smile, welcome and inevitable and warm turns into a tumult of laughter. It lasts for a few moments and I realize I’m crying a little bit. She turns, making sure that I see she’s paying attention. “You okay?”

I take a breath.

“Yeah, just… I am worth it.”

// Handcrafted Greek Strained Yogurt, Mixed Berry x 1