Lots of Monkeys

Well, Cinnabon has done it. Forget the Large Hadron Collider for a moment and look upon the Cinna-Pretzel. Truly it is a terrifying wonder to behold.
Cinnabon food scientists could not rest upon their laurels, for after the Cinnabon, the Minibon, Cinnabon Stix, and the Caramel Pecanbon, what was the next evolution? What, they asked themselves, after four video cards and five blades, was the best a man can get?

The answer, clearly, was the CinnaPretzel. Now I can eat two kinds of bread products at the same time, with frosting. They even include a cup specifically for frosting. Although I can’t tell if it’s a pretzel with frosting or a cinnamon roll in the shape of a pretzel.

Either way, this reminds me of Taco Bell launching bizarrely named food style products, when it’s the same combination of mystery meat, cheese, beans and a tortilla.

Update: Ugh. There’s technically six blades on the Gillette Fusion. Bewildering.

I don’t know what it’s been like for everyone else, but man, thank the maker that Friday is here. Drop me a line in the comments if you feel the same.

So, November 19th and $249.

I’m okay with that. Of course, that all depends on how I’m doing for NaNoWriMo this year. I made good on the attempt a few years ago, (2002) but I really want to make it again.

Probably shouldn’t buy the Wii or go to any friend’s houses for the month of November, although it will be difficult hearing about how terrible or awesome or terribly awesome it is.

It’s been a while since I’ve been on the metro. I walk to work, take a shuttle. So I was worried about my smartrip card having a positive balance. In my bag, a laptop hard drive for my soon-to-be-functional laptop sat, wrapped in anti-static plastic and bubble wrap. The gates let me in without beeping, so that was good enough for me.

The metro’s air was cool, stale, slightly damp. Probably a low oxygen content, on purpose. Keeps people drowsy, subjugated.

I catch a train and take the first seat available. Riding backwards isn’t my favorite, but it’s only two stops.

Across from me, a woman sits down, separated from me by two sheets of clear plexiglass flanking the door. Her head barely moves with the subtle side to side rocking of the train car.

With her sunglasses on, I can’t tell if she is awake or asleep.

For that matter, am I awake? Am I dreaming?

How could I know for sure, either way?

I take a look at the “new” metro car with its Modern day colors and 1970s fabrics.

It’s like somebody did a shoddy paint job and added LEDs, like some sort of half ass casemod.

But Jonathan Coulton is really funny. I recommend listening to his myspace page for two songs. Specifically “RE Your Brains” and “Code Monkey.” Both of these songs have an “Office Space” feel to them, infused with the undead and referring to oneself in the third person antics, respectively. Those of you listening at work may want to wait until you get home to listen to his other songs. On occasion, he has been known to drop the F-Bomb.

Code Monkey get up get coffee
Code Monkey go to job
Code Monkey have boring meeting
With boring manager Rob
Rob say Code Monkey very dilligent
But his output stink
His code not “functional” or “elegant”
What do Code Monkey think?
Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write god damned login page himself
Code Monkey not say it out loud
Code Monkey not crazy, just proud

Mr. Coulton is also the mad genius behind the song “Skullcrusher Mountain,” a love song sung by a misunderstood scientific genius. Also funny is “Chiron Beta Prime,” a Christmas ode to our robotic overlords. Did I say, “overlords?” I meant, “protectors.”

He also has some songs that are just very inspiring. Take a listen to “A Talk With George.”

His humorous work reminds me very much of Weird Al Yankovich’s non parody songs. (Speaking of whom, new album out September 26th.) That is, songs that are humorous stories sung by good musicians.