Well, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back

I just spent an hour in front of the boob tube. Dinner had just arrived and Quix just happened to have it on. So I ate, and as I ate, I watched. At least I had dinner–so it wasn’t a complete loss.

The drivel in question was “Fear Factor” and “Dog Eat Dog.” Before you click on those links, be advised that the writing is just as sensationalistic and puerile as the shows themselves. I was particularly tickled by the Fear Factor “article” on balut. Here’s a sample.

Filipinos call them “balut.” Here at Fear Factor we simply call them gross. (Ed. Note: Like girls! They’re icky!! Ewwwww!)
We knew that balut – also known as the “treat with feet” and the “eggs with legs” – would make for a great Fear Factor stunt. But the trick was in finding out where to get a hold of some here in Los Angeles.

That’s Pulitzer material, right there. In NBC’s world, if you can’t be witty, certainly try to make a rhyme. It’s hip with our demographic.

Now, the trick is finding balut in Los Angeles. It’s definitely a trick. Me, I’d go to one of the Filipino markets in the area. The producers of this show apparently didn’t make the mental jump from Filipino food to Filipino market. In fact, they went back to some duck farmers, and then proceeded directly to Little Vietnam.

And they say merely watching television rots your brain. I’d hate to see the people that work for it.

I barely watch television. I can’t watch the television. I mean, I have things to do. I can’t see myself spending that much time in a stationary position. It’s like praying the rosary. You’re worshipping by sacrificing your time. These “reality shows” do nothing for me. I got the greatest thrill out of finding out one of the challenges in Fear Factor was eating balut. In fact, I called kuyaney and told him to turn on the television. Sure, I was grossed out, but only because they were eating it without salt.

Without salt.

I knew I was completely out of the television loop when the Dog Eat Dog episode was a “very special all-star” edition–and I recognized no one. Well, I did recognize one person, and it was Kato Kaelin. Everyone else was from another “reality show.” Names like Kaya, Ytossie, Richard, Susan and Darva mean absolutely nothing to me.

This has to be the one time I have been proud of my own ignorance.

I’m going to log off and get some reading done.