Lots of Monkeys

Inauguration Day falls under the category, “Things that happen only once every four years.” Much like my Cadbury Creme Egg ingestion, and eating at McDonald’s. Although now I can say with a fair amount of accuracy that I have probably gone through the Clinton and Bush administration without choosing to eat at the local ingestible polymer allocation station.

Also on that list, is, “Seeing Metro packed with tuxedo and fur clad riders.” It’s a new experience for a majority of these people. Overhearing their conversation is like looking through tiny portholes into lives.

“Oh my goodness Reginald, did you hear how he pronounced ‘Tenleytown-Ay Youuuu?’ How quaint!” Her voice is filled with wonder and amusement.

My voice on the other hand, is filled with the harsh bitter reality of using DC mass transit for 12 years.

Welcome to Metro. I know that it may be the first time for some of you, and for others, it’s been a while–but stand on the left, and get out of the fucking doorways when I’m trying to get on.

I’m in line at the drugstore. Not my favorite activity, and not one that I had planned. When I walked in, there was no line. I decided that I could find a box of aluminum foil and be back out in the brisk winter air. In the two minutes that it took for me to find a box of aluminum foil, no less than eight people materialized in front of the registers. I consider dropping the box and running, but I decide that I’m already committed, and I need the aluminum foil.

The line is so long that I have to find the back of the line through one of the aisles. It’s the “seasonal” aisle.

To my left are Spongebob Squarepants and Barbie Valentine’s day chocolates. At least, I think they’re chocolates. Upon closer inspection, the labels reveal that the boxes contain not chocolate, but “milk chocolate flavored” candies. I’m about to pick up the box to read the ingredients, but then the line shuffles forward 6 inches.

On my right is more candy, but a different sort. It’s the Cadbury Creme egg display. This year, they are introducing the “cookies & creme” egg. I’m mildly intrigued, but then the line shuffles forward another 6 inches.

Surrounded by Valentine’s and Easter paraphenalia, I count myself lucky that the drugstores have collaborated with the toy and candy companies to remind me that it’s the middle of January.

I had totally forgotten.