Dear Best Buy:
We’ve been together for a while now.
This is not because I enjoy seeing you. If there were other stores with large assets like yours, I would be with them. You are the only game in town, and you know it. Congratulations on reaching the point where you don’t even have to try anymore. It’s not like you care. You pretend to, but you don’t.
You ask me if you can help me with anything, but in my experience, you can’t.
You are incapable of it.
Not in the entire history of our time together have you been able to answer a single question that I’ve asked you. You just sort of look at me with a blank stare and walk away, only to come back and say that you don’t know. I don’t understand why you even attempt dialogue with me.
I find you on the whole repellent, incompetent, and prone to being on the phone when there are more important things for you to do.
What you can do for me is best done in silence. In the future, just shut your mouth and give me what I want.
The only thing I like about you is that you are relatively clean and free of contagious diseases.
P.S. Please hold that 30″ Toshiba HD for me, I should be picking that one up in the next couple of months. Thanks!