Julie sent me a link to one of those online name profiler pages. After fiddling with it for a while, we were disappointed when we found out that it only says nice things. Inspired, I wrote a quick profile for my version of the site.
You are a nexus for hatred and spite. Despite this, you are incredibly charismatic and will amass a legion of followers, only to sacrifice them in order to achieve your evil deeds. You are selfish, and this trait brings nothing but suffering to those that find themselves in your presence. You are vicious, petty, borderline schizophrenic and people are naturally hesitant to be in the same room with you. You hate all of humanity and constantly plot its eradication and ultimate doom.
You also enjoy knitting.
Ah. Now to find out it already exists.