Sometimes, all it takes is two instant messenger profiles.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few seconds, and then there’s a flash of comprehension as words coalesce themselves into understanding. One moment, you’re reading structures of letters to form words, using your knowledge of grammar to form sentences. The first five years of your educational career has lead to this moment–you’re reading. The next moment, you’re taking in what you’ve read, comparing it to other sentences you’ve seen before, analyzing it with the sum total experience of your entire life. Then you understand not only what’s been put before you, but why the person wrote what they did, what frame of mind they were in when they wrote it, and what it really, truly means. That’s understanding. It’s a discovery of meaning, hidden within sentence structure.

It does not mean, however, that you’re going to like what you find out.

Computers, are unthinking, cold machines. Wafers of silicon surrounded by metal and plastic, powered by electricity, and capable of computational feats way beyond human comprehension. Separated by great distances, these machines are networked via an incredible structure collectively known as the internet. The internet is vast, huge lengths of wire and fiber optic cables. When it all comes down to it, this internet is about a girl hitting keys on a keyboard, sending electrical impulses over a lot of wires, putting information on a server, and then, the rest is one big cliché. Everything’s a cliché–until it starts happening to you.

Two instant messenger profiles.

I need a drink, a cigarette, and a lap dance and it’s seven forty five in the morning. That is, if I were a drinkin’ smokin’ ball of loose morals. How am I feeling right now? Well, like this. Not just strictly about the lyrics, but the song is complex. We’ve only heard this song one way, but the way it’s performed here–let’s just say that it’s the polar opposite. There’s great conflict there. Which is the way I feel right now. I didn’t think it was possible, but I am in the midst of undirected anger, and feelings which aren’t quite love, which are directed at one person in particular. Which is the beauty of the song. It’s both at the same time. And that too, is the beauty of the human condition. We’re not on or off. We’re both, we’re nothing, we’re everything, and there’s no switch to turn off any of it.

Drop me a line. Don’t bother with the phone.

They say that people go through stages in life. I need to take a step towards that next stage.


Year twenty six, and if this is the worst thing to happen to me so far–I’ll take it. I know these feelings will pass. Just like all of the others.


And now for something completely different.