Lots of Monkeys

So I ordered a knife from woot.com.

There are two reasons for this.

One, I love shopping.

Two, I love knives.

Although really, I was looking for another EDC knife to keep in my bag and keep me out of museums and airports forever.

But I received two of them, days apart, after I had made my initial order. So, instead of just keeping the knife, I wrote their customer service this email:

Subject: It’s cool, really.

Dear guys and gals that run woot,

Hi there, this is in regards to my order of one (1) CRKT Van Hoy On Fire Knife Order #XXXXXX.

I’ve got no problems with it, the knife works as described, it’s wonderful, I’ve got it stuck on my fridge with magnets. You know, just in case.

But I was curious when I got another package from you guys.

It was another knife.

The same knife.

Now normally, I’d be like, “Sweet! A new knife!” But I had already bought a knife. That knife shaped hole in my life had already been filled, so this additional knife was sort of extraneous, and did I really need more stuff?

Then, after the exposition featuring the nature of rampant personal consumerism, I thought about it and realized I was at a crossroads.

Do I:

a) Return the knife

b) Keep the knife

In scenario a)  I outlay some cash for shipping. I lose some of the savings. I experience a somewhat financially hollow, but personally satisfying moral victory.

In scenario b) I give this knife to a friend, and tell them this story:

“Oh man, this one time, I ordered, like, one knife from woot, but then they made a mistake and sent me like, two knives! At first I was all, ‘Hell yeah man, two knives are better than one knife!’ But then I realized that they seem like a pretty cool company and I didn’t want to screw’em over even though, you know they are probably sprinkling gold flakes on their breakfast cereal while cruising at 30,000 feet in their G5s on their way to the ski lodge.

But anyway, I told them about the extra knife and they told me to give it to you.

That’s how cool they are. That my friend, is how they roll.”

At this point I would perform a pregnant pause, then look directly towards the non existent camera.

“Woot.com. Buy things from them.”

I don’t spend money on shipping. I have a story to post on my blog. I pay it forward. Maybe tweet a little or put up a post on Google+. I have a customer service experience. Everyone wins. Everyone.

So, let me know how to proceed.

But you know, no pressure or anything.

Sincerely,

Fil

Thanks for your honesty in letting us know about the extra knife.

Below are instructions and a shipping label to send the item back to us.

<Instructions removed>

Thanks again, but sorry for the inconvenience,

Phil