Monthly Archives: May 2018


I realized, when I saw this photo in Instagram later, that this is a really messed up photo. I am  laying down the instruments of consumption directly framing the half devoured victim.

So based on my past experience with this cake, and with this knife, chocolate sprinkles go everywhere when you cut a slice. So what do I do? I spread out a table napkin like a like a tarp on the floor.

Rookie mistake #1: Not spreading enough tarps on the floor

I realize this when my first cut goes in and then a piece goes flying off the cake. It lands just out of range for my napkin tarp, and with enough frosting to stick to the table.

“Son of a bitch!” I exclaim, stopping mid cut to grab an additional napkin—and then get back to the cake with a look of panic on my face—then I realize that with my attention split, the cut has gone all wobbly.

Now I’ve got two problems.