Tag Archives: love

Maybe

It’s always the same, the facts.

The retelling of them, not so much.  A detail here and there is added or removed.  Not out of deliberate editing, but for the simple reason that each retelling is different.

And so, there are a lot of “maybes.”  This is a story then, about a girl who broke my heart.  Maybe.

One day, when I was younger, a beautiful girl broke my heart.  One of my friends, taking pity on my situation, and no doubt sick of my moping, asked me to help him DJ at a party near his house.  This was when DJs actually needed people to carry discs.  It was a paying gig, so I said yes.

On the way there, I rolled down the passenger side window on a lonely stretch of road alongside a valley.  I took a deep breath and shouted about how she was the only one for me and that I still loved her.

I remembered the cool breeze across my face, his laughter at my defiant act, the brush whipping past us and the the smell of the desert air.

At the party, while bringing in the third milk crate of vinyl, I met a different beautiful girl that night.  She wrote down her number on a post it note and gave it to me.

Later, after the party was over, along that same lonely stretch of road alongside that same valley, my friend stopped the car and looked at me expectantly.

I rolled down the window, took a deep breath, and shouted that perhaps, well, maybe, possibly. . . she wasn’t the only one for me.

Perchance.

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The smallest thing

I remember very clearly.

It’s a colder spring day in 1996 and I’m shivering in my long wool coat.  Despite living in the District for three winters, I still haven’t learned to layer.

I look over to my girlfriend, and she’s occupied with driving.  She shifts matter of factly in the stop and go traffic on Rockville Pike.  It’s a slightly misty rainy sort of day and the intermittent wipe of the blades punctuates our conversation.  It’s about everything and nothing at all, the kind of conversation that two lovers have when they’re not entangled in each other.

We should be in class but we’re not.  We do this more often than we should.  Even though our grades don’t suffer, I know that every time we skip class, a part of us rips away.  A little bit more, every time, we step further and further away from being the perfect son or daughter that our parents want us to be.  But we don’t care.

It’s a long trip in the rush hour traffic, longer still because we ache to get to our destination.  We know what awaits us there.  We long to hold it in our hands, to be complete.

We arrive and we get out of the car.  I wait, in the rain, feeling small droplets through my too short hair.  She locks up the car, takes my hand and we walk through the doors together.

We walk slowly, window shopping at first, stopping at every counter to look at the tiny, expensive objects under glass.  Every now and again, I ask a salesperson to bring an item up from behind the counter.  She nods her approval or disapproval and we move on, taking great care to thank the salesperson each time.

Finally we stop at what feels like the last counter.  The final one for us.  The reason we came all the way out here, in the rain and through the traffic, together. Continue reading

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By Popular Demand

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Letting go

When I found the place again, it was through an advanced google search, the one where you have to get it to look for a specific phrase while at the same time eliminating results with a different specific phrase.

Even then I only found the place after eight pages of results.

It takes me a few more minutes to get the right client and get some settings the way I want them. I’m acting on physical memory now. My fingers just seem to know the way, I’m just along for the ride.

I connect and my password and userid grant me access.

The sea of black text flooded the screen, the usual disclaimers and warnings too dense to comprehend and suddenly I was back in my alchemical laboratory. I looked around to read the description. How I agonized over the wordings and spellings. I trimmed the descriptions in order to fit them on one page for visitors.

There were a few loose items scattered in the room, a guest key that I had coded a while back that allowed people to teleport here if they used it, but the second it left their inventory, they would get booted back to the main lobby.

I could summon it into my inventory at anytime. Handy when an anonymous guest got unwieldy. Continue reading

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