Lots of Monkeys

Did I ever tell you about the time I insulted Bruce Campbell? No? Well, it’s a pretty good story, I think.

Mr. Campbell’s appearing at Olsson’s books and records, right? I pick up a copy of his book and get a number. I wait around for about an hour, maybe two hours, and finally, my number is called. I’m number one-hundred forty-one. I’ve been waiting all this time just to meet the man Bruce Campbell.

I’ve seen his shows. I’ve watched his movies. I’ve relished the cameos he’s had in various movies and other television shows. I’ve thought about what I want to say. Needless to say that this helped me not one bit. I was thinking that I did not want to appear the “deranged fan.” Yet, I know he’s a great believer in the “working stiff” of Hollywood, as opposed to the “celebrities” that only want green M&M’s in their hotel.

So, I walk up to him.
Oh my god, it’s Bruce Campbell.
“Hello Mr. Campbell.”
He stops for a moment, looks at my name.
“Uh, Filemon, sir.”
“Filemon? That’s an unusual name.”
“Thanks.”
“Well sir, I have to say, I’m pretty excited. You’re the first celebrity I’ve ever met.”
“Oh really?”

Pause.

“Well, you know.” (Here comes the insult.)
I make quotation mark motions with my hands.
“Celebrity.”

Pause.

Blink.

Bruce Campbell points towards the bowl of candy on the table. “Here.” He starts to sign my book. “Have some candy.”

I’d like to say thank you to all the people that asked if I was okay. (All *cough* two of you. Heh.) Yes, I’m okay. And yes, I’m sure. Thank you for checking up on me. It’s hard, but not impossible for me to deal with. All I need is time. I’ll be better in time. And I’m more unhappy than angry. Hardly angry at all now. Mainly sad. Pauvre, pauvre moi! You may pity me. I am putting ze back of mah hand to mah forehead ah ahm zo zad. . . But mainly confused. *sigh* And I need to talk to someone, but they’re not home.

Another day, another entry. I think I have a plot (more of an idea) for a short story. I don’t know exactly where I’ll put it yet. I don’t know exactly how it’ll turn out. I don’t know where it’s going to go because I just have bits and pieces of it everywhere. It has a lot to do with the way that I write.

It’s strange when I write. Everything just pours out of me in the way that viscera and other fluids sluice through the grates on a slaughterhouse floor. A lot of thoughts come and go so quickly, that it’s hard for me to catch them all. It’s not pretty by any means, and I’ve lost many a good thought on the way to work, just walking two blocks. I always believe that I’m going to write it down in my beloved work journal, but I never do. But the work journal is being used.

I’m beginning to loath the late shift at work. I’m becoming distant. I’m losing a pant size due to not eating, I think. I have to get transferred back to the early shift. This is seriously cramping my style.

In other news, I found out that Big Trouble in Little China and The Goonies have been released on DVD. Oh yeah. I can feel “impulse buy” approaching. Maybe have a blast from our childhood movie night. Which I haven’t had for quite a while. Then again, these movies may have been slightly embellished due to the fact that I did watch them when I was very young.

I mean, it’s Kurt Russell. And Cyndi Lauper. And I was really, really young.

It’s also good to know that I’m not the only one of my friends baring themselves on the net. (No, not pr0n.) Here’s a journal from a good friend of mine. Maybe our journals will cross paths one day. I look to him for inspiration and beauty, and that’s when I’m sneaking glances at his lovely wife.

Sometimes, all it takes is two instant messenger profiles.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few seconds, and then there’s a flash of comprehension as words coalesce themselves into understanding. One moment, you’re reading structures of letters to form words, using your knowledge of grammar to form sentences. The first five years of your educational career has lead to this moment–you’re reading. The next moment, you’re taking in what you’ve read, comparing it to other sentences you’ve seen before, analyzing it with the sum total experience of your entire life. Then you understand not only what’s been put before you, but why the person wrote what they did, what frame of mind they were in when they wrote it, and what it really, truly means. That’s understanding. It’s a discovery of meaning, hidden within sentence structure.

It does not mean, however, that you’re going to like what you find out.

Computers, are unthinking, cold machines. Wafers of silicon surrounded by metal and plastic, powered by electricity, and capable of computational feats way beyond human comprehension. Separated by great distances, these machines are networked via an incredible structure collectively known as the internet. The internet is vast, huge lengths of wire and fiber optic cables. When it all comes down to it, this internet is about a girl hitting keys on a keyboard, sending electrical impulses over a lot of wires, putting information on a server, and then, the rest is one big cliché. Everything’s a cliché–until it starts happening to you.

Two instant messenger profiles.

I need a drink, a cigarette, and a lap dance and it’s seven forty five in the morning. That is, if I were a drinkin’ smokin’ ball of loose morals. How am I feeling right now? Well, like this. Not just strictly about the lyrics, but the song is complex. We’ve only heard this song one way, but the way it’s performed here–let’s just say that it’s the polar opposite. There’s great conflict there. Which is the way I feel right now. I didn’t think it was possible, but I am in the midst of undirected anger, and feelings which aren’t quite love, which are directed at one person in particular. Which is the beauty of the song. It’s both at the same time. And that too, is the beauty of the human condition. We’re not on or off. We’re both, we’re nothing, we’re everything, and there’s no switch to turn off any of it.

Drop me a line. Don’t bother with the phone.

They say that people go through stages in life. I need to take a step towards that next stage.

Truth.

Year twenty six, and if this is the worst thing to happen to me so far–I’ll take it. I know these feelings will pass. Just like all of the others.

Truth.

And now for something completely different.

  “Hey Jason.”
  “Hey Fil, our DSL provider called, they’re wondering why you’re broadcasting the Code Red virus.”
  “Well. . . Crap.”

*sigh* Running a website isn’t all glory, money, fame and chicks. Sometimes, you gotta patch. And patch again. And then patch one more time, and then clean it. Then burn the hard drive so that nothing ever happens again.

Damn mutants. So I was contributing to the Code Red dissemination. I’ll never live that one down. I was patched up, too. Or so I thought. Thanks to Homer, I’m up to spec viral wise and patchwise thanks to Jason.

It takes a village to raise a website sometimes. I appreciate the help guys, I really do.

Work gave me a new toy today. It’s a two way talkabout t900 from Motorola. Email, text-to-voice, and some really neat capabilities. I’ll play with it a bit more and just learn about it.

Number of electronic devices Fil carries around on a daily basis : 4

Number of said electronic devices that are connected to the ‘net : 3

Number of times Fil uses the ‘net on any of these devices in a given day : 3

It’s not that I need to check email so much–it’s just that I can.

In other news today, I find that conveyor sushi is just too damn convenient. And fast. It seriously, unanimously, rocks. It was my first time tonight, but it won’t be my last. It’s like Dim Sum, but smaller, and more efficient. Tonight, I had edamame, chicken teriyaki, takuan rolls, cucumber rolls, california rolls, vegetable and shrimp tempura. Yes, all of that. And a coke. Hell yeah. Quick service, good food, good variety and great value.