So, I was rooting around in my file cabinet, and under, “Things that may be important” I found this:
I, the undersigned, hereby relinquish all rights to have my name correct at any time. This includes proper spelling in print and web articles, proper pronunciation over public address systems, restaurant lines and proper signing in American Sign Language.
I also relinquish all rights to being called by my correct name. Instead of my name, people will use the name of any Asian male that they can remember having talked to in the last six months.
At the very least, this piece of paper makes me difficult to google.