Daily Archives: February 14, 2003

Happy Valen–Wait, WTF Am I Doing?!

I hate all of you. Odds are, if you are a person, I hate you. No offense. There are a scant few exceptions, but for the most part I hate people.

I know you hate people too. You’ve encountered them. They stand on the left. They take thirty items into the fifteen items or less lane. They drive in the HOV by themselves. They type in all caps and misspell words by adding numbers. They send you email claiming “larger, firmer breasts 100% naturally.” They call during dinner. They call too early. They don’t call. They get your name wrong, even though you’ve told them what it is. They ask you where you’re from and then say, “No, really.”

So yeah, don’t take it personally, but I hate you all.

Except for you.

I suppose you’re okay.

Note:I don’t really hate you. Aw come on. Oh great, here comes the lip.