Entering the men’s room I took a quick survey and got the lay of the land. The two urinals were already occupied, leaving the stall to do my business in. I didn’t really want to wait, so I walked into the stall and lifted the seat.

About midway through, I detect some movement behind me. One of the other guests has entered the stall and has already closed the door behind him. He’s an older gentleman and I’m not really sure about what the hell is going on. He hasn’t turned around yet, and I’m not sure if he knows I’m here.

You know, urinating.

“Uh, hi there.”

I consider my self defense options. I’m leaning towards rear kicks, but I’m not done with my business yet. I also consider urinating on the guy but I horrify myself with the thought that perhaps, that’s what he wants.

He looks terrified as he turns around and manages a quick “I’m sorry!” as he exits the stall with haste.

“I’m almost done,” I call after him. I’m trying to make it less embarrassing. I don’t think I’m succeeding. I exit and we both avoid eye contact as he goes straight for the stall.

I guess he just really had to go.

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