I didn't realize terror was so. . . citrusy!

Orange-Plus Alert?! Or is that “Orange+?”

I know that they’ve been thinking about adding another color to the terror threat level codes. I can only extrapolate that they are doing this in order to further befuddle the American Public.

Either that, or somebody’s getting a serious kickback from Crayola.

In a bizarre twist of life imitating art, The Onion actually managed to beat this one to the punch. I was searching through the archives, found nothing, but did manage to find this snippet from the article (“Orange Alert Sirens To Blow 24 Hours A Day In Major Cities”) from another blogger:

“The newly added levels are Orange-Red Alert, Red-Orange Alert, Maroon Alert, Burnt Sienna Alert, and Ochre Alert,” Ridge said. “They indicate, in ascending order of fear: concern, deep dread, severe apprehension, near-crippling fright, and pants-shitting terror. Please make a note of this.”

Regardless of what color they decide to add, I’m probably going to ignore it, and keep my ear to the radio.

All this, and I still have helicopters doing low flybys over my office. Nothing like the soothing whump whump whump accompanied by the shuddering of the ceiling to make me feel productive.