You're insane! No, you're insane!

So, due to a combination of circumstances that led to poor decision making, (my lack of sleep, my hunger, the fact that nothing else is available, my general irritability at the world at large, a review sent to me by a friend about the item I am about to consume, and the desire to get back to some level of comfort that I knew when I was 5 years of age) I am now sitting at my desk, with a small “orange juice” and a McGriddle sandwich.

The McGriddle will be my first foray into McDonalds in what feels like lots and lots of months. Quite possibly–years.

I’m scared. I mean, the logo is branded onto the sandwich. I had the hash brown already, and that was okay. The orange juice tasted like it had been reconstituted fairly recently. If you haven’t heard about the sandwich, it’s basically a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich, but the bread part of it has syrup baked in.

They have got to be lying. I mean, nothing at McDonald’s could ever possibly be subjected to any sort of cooking process such as “baking.” So, orange juice, a sandwich, and a hashbrown only cost me $3.62, and due to the health concerns–

APPROXIMATELY TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE

The worst part about this is that I already read Fast Food Nation.